Welcome to UBS
The Antithesis of Academic Excellence
Welcome to the University of Bums on Seats, where we believe that nobody should be exempt from a university education. As Vice Chancellor here for the past 13 months, I have attempted to revolutionise our educational paradigm to ensure a rich diversity of abilities are represented in our student body.
It is never too late to start your education. Even at this late point in the academic year, we have many vacancies for degree-courses. We pride ourselves on our 'character-over-qualifications' admissions policy which ensures that no-one will be rejected on any grounds except non-payment of fees.
Unlike many conventional universities, our modern, economical approach to teaching is delivered by the latest computerised teaching-aids, graduate assistants, and other budget-conscious methods.
We particularly welcome applications from overseas students, and we are proud to be one of the very few universities which does not require proficiency in English as a pre-requisite to enrol.
If you have ever considered investing in your future by gaining the qualifications you may have missed earlier in life, then now is the time to apply. No questions asked.
We look forward to receiving your tuition fees.
Prof Alan Dubious (MAd,TOTP,DipSHiT)
Web-Site designed and created
at great expense
over five years by clueless wankers who spent most of
their time in meetings discussing the "site strategy".
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