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UNDER CONSTRUCTION
our lord Jesus

Testimonial Generator

In order for you to be taken seriously by other Christians it is a good idea to prepare a testimonial describing how you were saved. This is also a useful tool when witnessing.

Coming up with a convincing testimonial can be tricky, especially if your life up until now has been very dull and lacking sex, drugs or all-round tradegy. So to help you we have produced a testimonial generator. Simply fill in the form below and click the "Save Me Lord" button to generate your testimonial.

  1. At what age did you start to decline ?
    10
    11
    12
    13
    14
    15
  2. Which of the following incidents led to your decline ?
    Parents who abused you
    Parents who swore (cursed)
    Parents who let you watch MTV
    Parents who drank alcohol
    Touching your toilet parts
    Thinking about touching your toilet parts
    Missing church
    A local priest who abused you
  3. What form did your decline take ?
    Thinking about other people's toilet parts.
    Touching your own toilet parts.
    Alcoholism
    Exhibitionism
    Swearing
    Crack using and dealing
    Pimping
    Crack dealing and pimping
  4. Who talked to you about the lord ?
    A friend
    Your pimp
    Your dealer
    Some Vagrant
    Your cell-mate
    The voices in your head