Pyschology or Bullshit ?

Psychology is a total waste of time. It is an area of 'study' that exists because of a large group of people who didnt understand physics, chemistry and biology but wanted to be scientists. They argue that psychology is in fact more complicated that physics, what with the human brain being so complex and difficult to get at without being arrested. This is a good argument, because it justifys them getting their vast grants without the need for any actual results. The work they do is then published in one of many journals which, of course are run by psychologists. The journals are sold to colleges so that their psychology departments can read them. Thus it continues... Efficient, brilliant and simple. A totally self-perpetuating waste of college funds.

How then do they get away with it ? Simple. Verbosity Personified. By making up large pseudo-scientific slang words they shroud their pointless papers in an esoteric camoflage. Terms like

'Syllogistic Ecphory'
'Cognitive System'
'Dimensional Personality Factors'
'Spacio Temporal Patterns'
'Emergist Interactionism'
'Ontological Identity'
'umwelt'
'universe-ununiverse'

are examples of this phenomenon.

PROFESSIONALS

By Conor Maguire

This poem's about 'professionals'
    psychiatrists per se
Yes i've been to plenty
    i'm not ashamed to say.
To people who think i'm round the bend
    at least i can make the claim
that my head's been examined
    and prooven as first rate
whereas yours might be a shambles! 
    And who would know, or dare to say?

But i must say of pyschiatrists and psychologists - 
    especially the clinical - 
you're in a so-called 'help' profession
    yet you're nothing short of criminal.
the way you treat your patients
    is really quite despicable.
You've got a code of 'ethics'
    yet you use your patients as guinea-pigs.

And from all their hopes and fears
    you can plagiarise ideas,
publish them and take the credit
    and be seen as such an 'expert'.
But in a way, i guess its just as well
    that you can write a book and make it sell -
Its time you had something to offer your patients
    apart from cop-outs and disclaimers.

I've always been disgusted 
    by your parasitic ways,
and hope for a new discovery
    whereby you'll be replaced.

You're as smug as a bug in a rug
    making loads of money
    prescribing loads of drugs.
But behind it all you must be
    as empty as an empty plastic jug.

People who really are 'professional'
    don't have to over-use that buzz-word
a hundered times a minute
    to justify their existence.

You're getting so lazy and so fat
    in your big leather chair, swinging back.
What your patients have really been through
    you've only read about at school
to pass some stupid exam
    among a bunch of other fools.
But i've had to think things through
    in a way most 'experts' never do.

But you're making a buck and that's what counts.
but in fact, you're in a position to do a hell of a lot more -
You could make a difference in people's lives
    and save their kids from suicide!
Wouldn't that count for more?

If all you really care about
    is covering your ass,
then you should have run for politics - 
    at least then, you'd have some class.

You can afford to buy a wine-bar,
    a sapphire or a boat,
treating other people's crises
    like a satire or a joke.
But it can't be very fulfilling
    to make a buck that way - 
you must know you're just a parasite
    at the end of every day.

'I'm just doing a job.'
    i guess you'd say.
Well, wait until your kids find out
    how daddy really ''earns'' his pay.
They'll tell you to your face
    that you're just a fraudulent wast of space.

And i guess you'll brush them off
    with some bullshit answer too.
But your answers are just see-through props:
    You can't brush off the truth.

(c)2000
Conor Maguire

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